delanceyplace.com 12/10/09 - princess leia

In today's encore excerpt - Carrie Fisher, who
played the role of Princess Leia, George Lucas and
Star Wars:

"George made me take shooting lessons because in
the first film I would grimace horribly at the deafening
sound of the blanks from the blasters and the squibs
that the special effects team would place all over the
set and on the stormtroopers. So George wanted to
make me look like I'd been shooting them for my
entire Alderaan existence. So, he sent me to the same
man who'd taught Robert DeNiro to shoot weapons in
Taxi Driver and the shooting range was in this cellar in
midtown Manhattan, populated with policemen and all
manner of firearm aficionados.

"I used to have this fantasy that in some distant Star
Wars sequel, we'd finally stop all the shooting and
screaming at each other and would go to a
shopping-and-beauty planet, where the stormtroopers
would have to get facials, and Chewbacca would have
to get pedicures and bikini and eyebrow waxes. I felt at
some point that I should get - okay, fine, maybe not
equal time - but just a few scenes where we all did a
lot of girly things. Imagine the shopping we might have
done on Tatooine! Or a little Death Star souvenir shop
where you could get T-shirts that said 'My parents got
the force and jumped to light speed and all I got was
this lousy t-shirt!' or 'My boyfriend blew Jabba the Hutt
and all I got' .. etc., etc. You get the gist of my drift.

"But I have to admit, after a series of weapon
instruction from a very pleasant ex-cop, I became quite
proficient with an assortment of guns, including a
double-barreled shotgun. Obviously my family was so
proud. Because for Darth sake, I was always doing
their endless stupid boy things.

"But back to the first film. Shortly after I arrived, George
gave me this unbelievably idiotic hairstyle, and I'm
brought before him like some sacrificial asshole and
he says in his little voice, 'Well, what do you think of it?'
And I say - because I'm terrified I'm going to be fired
for being too fat - I say, 'I love it.' Yeah, and the check's
in the mail and one size fits all and I'll only put it in a
little bit!

"Because, see, there was this horrible fat thing going
on! When I got this great job to end all jobs, which truly
I never thought I would get because there were all
these other beautiful girls who were up for the
part - there was Amy Irving and Jodie Foster; this girl
Teri Nunn almost got the part ... Oh! and Christopher
Walken almost got cast as Han Solo. (Wouldn't that
have been fantastic) Anyway, when I got this job they
told me I had to lose ten pounds. Well, I weighed
about 105 at the time, but to be fair, I carried about fifty
of those pounds in my face! So you know what a good
idea would be? Give me a hairstyle that further widens
my already wide face!"

Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking, Simon &
Schuster, Copyright 2008 by Deliquesce, Inc., pp.
81-85.